My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
