Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
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