I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
