Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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