I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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