jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
