Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
