Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
