He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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