we're blogging at a bar
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
