I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize