help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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