I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
