It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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