nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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