some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
