I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
