Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
