He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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