How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
