it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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