Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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