my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
