it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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