tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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