It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
