I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize