I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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