Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
