My friends, they love my intelligence
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Two words: nipple clamps
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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