I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
