I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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