Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
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