Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
