VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
