great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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