Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
