Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
This is classic penis vs brain.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
