so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize