I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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