Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
