You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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