I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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