She's JV to your varsity
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
