Well douche your snatch and let's go!
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
