i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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