I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
