just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize