WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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