I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize