If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
