Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
