One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
