I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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