how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize