you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
