Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Randomize
