We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize