you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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